During the live telecast of our nation’s 60th birthday, I noticed that participants were given a placard with the words, “I WANT TO __________________” encouraging individuals to complete the sentence and perhaps write their hopes and aspirations.
I was amused with some of the written responses that the cameraman picked up that were shown on TV. Here were some of them:
“I WANT TO sleep!”
“I WANT TO be happy!”
“I WANT TO own a car!”
“I WANT TO be PM/ President to serve the nation!”
“I WANT TO win an argument with my wife!” (This one … I hope he reaches home safely … :P)
“I WANT TO see an easy PSLE paper!”
“I WANT TO pass my PSLE!”
The last two were probably written by kids taking their much-dreaded PSLE – Primary School Leaving Examination in a few weeks’ time.
Each year, the PSLE becomes a significant milestone in many families. For children, besides the season of stress and anxiety, it marks the end of their time in primary school. For their parents, it often brings a mix bag of emotions – hope, pride, anxiety, and sometimes even fear that their children may not do well which would affect their choice of secondary schools.
Parents would always want their children to do well – not just for academic success, but for brighter opportunities in the future.
This reminds me of a scene in the local movie, Singapore Dreaming, where a mother was waiting for the lift with her child. And she began berating her young kindergarten son, “You see Steven! Aunty Bee Leng told me that her son scored 100 for his spelling! How come you got 95 only? How to get to Nanyang Primary? You watch too many cartoons! You want to be road sweeper is it?”
Parents with kids taking their PSLE often joke that it seems that the parents are the ones preparing for the exams. We laugh, but in reality, all of us growing up in Singapore can’t help but feel the pressure of academic achievements for ourselves or for our children.
As Christian parents, how can we show faith and trust in God during the PSLE season in a way that encourages our children, rather than making them feel that PSLE means ‘Parents’ Strict Legalistic Expectations’?
PSLE is not just about studying hard and passing an exam, but perhaps parents can see it as a journey about – Praying, Surrendering, Loving, and Encouraging our children in the Lord.
Academic exams may shape and help them with their future opportunities, but spiritual formation shapes eternity.
While we as parents try our best to motivate and encourage our kids to do their best for their PSLE, may we we reminded of God’s greater vision for us as parents, especially in this PSLE season.
1. P – Pray
“6 Never forget these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Teach them to your children. Repeat them when you are at home and when you are away, when you are resting and when you are working.” (Deuteronomy 6:6–7)
In verse 5, God’s people were reminded to love God with all their heart, soul and strength. God commands parents to teach His Word to their children. And this begins with parents themselves knowing and experiencing God’s truth and promises.
Kids would see and learn how their parents respond to trials and difficulties. Do their parents constantly go to God in prayer for both the good and bad?
When our hearts are rooted in God’s Word, prayer flows naturally, and this help build the foundation of Christian parenting.
During the PSLE season, it’s easy for our prayers to become exam-focused: “Lord, help my child to remember everything” or “Lord, give them a clear mind.” These are good prayers, but we can go deeper.
Pray for:
- A heart that delights in God above grades.
- Wisdom to manage time well.
- Joy in learning as a way to glorify God.
- Protection from comparison, pride, or despair.
Parents, let your children see and hear you pray for them. Pray together before they begin their revisions. Pray at night before bed. Pray on the way to school (I have seen and heard Pas Kien Seng praying for Gavriel when he brings him to school).
As we do this, we’re not just asking God for help – we’re showing our children that we can always talk to God anywhere and for anything – for our worries, our thanksgivings, our fears. Prayer is our everyday way of life.
2. S – Surrender
“6Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their life.” (Proverbs 22:6)
This verse reminds us that our ultimate role is to teach our children on the way they should go. We can guide, teach, and train but only God can shape their hearts and direct their futures.
As parents, the temptation is to take full ownership of our child’s performance: If they do well, we have succeeded. If they struggle, we failed.
But the truth is, your identity is not in your child’s grades, and neither is theirs.
Years ago, a close friend came to share with me about her struggles with her son who was taking his PSLE. She felt he was not putting enough effort and was only concerned about playing. She broke down and cried and said she felt so helpless in the situation – that even countless pep talks and scoldings didn’t seemed to work.
I listened to her and gently reminded her that her son belongs to God as well. God will take care of him too. And I shared that she had done her best as his mother and he needed her love and encouragement. I also encouraged her to pray and let the Holy Spirit work in his life.
She turned to me and said, “Stan, you won’t understand because you don’t have children!” I replied saying that even though I do not have children, I do know what God has promised His people – that He will always watch over them.
A few weeks later, we met again after the PSLE results were released. And there my friend cried again but this time, she cried with joy and was relieved that her son managed to pass his PSLE and go on to secondary school.
We sat down and I reminded her that PSLE is but one exam in life and there are many more exams in one’s life. We gave thanks to God together and we prayed to entrust and surrender her son to God’s loving care.
By God’s grace, her son went on to do well in secondary school and got into Poly. He was even selected to be part of the Singapore Youth Flying Club which nurtures potential pilots. As I write this, he has just graduated from Poly and is now awaiting to begin his National Service.
Surrendering to God means:
- Acknowledging that God’s plans for your child are higher than yours (Isaiah 55:8–9)
- Trusting that He can use both successes, struggles and even failures for their good (Romans 8:28)
- Letting go of the fear that their future is determined by a single exam
- Entrusting them to the care and work of the Spirit living in their hearts
This doesn’t mean we don’t work hard or prepare well. It means we prepare faithfully and then rest in the knowledge that God is in control.
Our job is to be faithful parents in the way of the Lord and trusting that He is the One who carries them for the rest of the journey.
3. L – Love
“4 Parents, do not treat your children in such a way as to make them angry. Instead, raise them with Christian discipline and instruction.” (Ephesians 6:4 GNT)
Love in the Bible is not simply an emotion. It is a choice to serve, build up, and nurture. Ephesians 6:4 encourages fathers (and mothers) to avoid exasperating (in the ESV, “do not provoke”) their children, especially through unrealistic expectations or constant criticism.
Exam seasons can strain family relationships. In the push for better results from our kids, it’s easy to become impatient or harsh. Yet what our children need most is to feel secure in our love – love that is not conditional on their grades or achievements.
It’s good for them to know and be assured that good or bad, you are always there for them. Just like how God is always with us in the good and bad.
To love our kids well in every season not just during PSLE means:
- Speaking words that affirm their worth as God’s beloved child
- Creating space for rest, laughter, family time and shared meals even in busy weeks
- Being attentive to their emotional and spiritual needs, not just their academic progress
Remember, love is a powerful teacher. They will see and experience God’s love through you. Your patience and kindness will teach them far more about God’s heart than any words of motivation.
4. E – Encourage
7 Teach them to your children. Repeat them when you are at home and when you are away, when you are resting and when you are working.” (Deuteronomy 6:7)
Encouragement is more than telling them “Jia you! 加油！”or “You can do it!” It’s about building courage in your child to trust God and persevere. Encouragement happens in the ordinary rhythms of life – while walking, sitting, and resting.
During PSLE, encouragement can look like:
- Sharing and reading Bible verses about God’s presence and strength (Psalm 46:1)
- Sharing your own stories and struggles in your work and how God is teaching you to rely on Him
- Reminding them that their identity is secure in Christ
- Celebrating their efforts, hard work, and faithfulness – not just results
- Pointing out their growth and resilience, even in the small things
When encouragement flows regularly at home, exams stop being a source of fear and become another opportunity to pray and rely on God together.
The PSLE season is not only a test of academics – it’s a test of family priorities. If the home becomes entirely about grades and schedules, children may begin to believe that success is their highest purpose. We must model and teach that God is much bigger than exams.
Here are a few ways to nurture worship at home not just during the PSLE season but in every season:
Family Prayer Time – Keep a daily routine of praying together, not just for the exams but for classmates, teachers, and the world. This helps them to see beyond themselves.
Short Family Devotions – Read a short passage of Scripture each day and talk about what it says about God. Share about your own struggles and how you are also learning to rely on God. Even 5–10 minutes over breakfast or before bed can help them experience God.
Praise and Worship – Sing a simple song during devotions. Singing helps us to look to God instead of focusing on our anxieties.
Scripture Memory – Learn short verses together that speak about God’s faithfulness, peace, and strength. These will become anchors in the raging storms.
Share thanksgivings – Help our children to be thankful and grateful even for the small things. When I asked the kids in U12 during Sunday worship, “What is one thing you are thankful to God for during the week?” many of them kept silent. So, end the day by sharing things – both good and bad that we can be thankful for.
PSLE is significant, but it is not sovereign – only God is.
Our children need to know that:
- God’s love for them is unchanging, regardless of grades
- Their purpose is to glorify God in all things (1 Corinthians 10:31)
- Life is filled with many “tests,” but God’s grace is sufficient in each one
- When we keep God at the center, the PSLE becomes just one chapter in their journey of faith and not the defining moment of their worth
Lastly, my encouragement for all parents is this: “Parents Shape Lives Eternally”.
Parents, this season is as much for your growth as it is for your child’s. God is refining your patience, deepening your trust, and teaching you to surrender.
The greatest blessing you can give your child is not being a perfect parent, but a living example of what it looks like to walk with God during both the joyous and difficult moments.
So perhaps of desiring, “I WANT TO make sure my child does well for PSLE!”, we can tune our hearts to say,
- I WANT TO: Pray – Seek God daily for my child’s heart and future
- I WANT TO: Surrender – Trust God’s greater plan for their lives
- I WANT TO: Love – Show unconditional love that reflects Christ’s own
- I WANT TO: Encourage – Speak life, hope, and truth in every season
And as you do, remember that every moment of worship at home – every prayer, every verse read, every song sung – is building in your child a foundation that no exam or other trials can shake.
I look forward to meeting my nephews and niece each weekend. And I enjoy sharing with them my stories of my younger days and about God. When my nephew stays over, he would always ask me and my wife to pray with him before he sleeps, and we both take great joy in doing that.
Even as I write and share this week’s Perspective, I am reminded of my longing heart’s desire: “I WANT TO be a father and have children of my own …”
But after much praying and waiting, my wife and I have come to accept that God’s ways are higher than ours. And while I write this from my perspective, I may not have experienced the pain and anxieties you have gone through as parents. But I pray for you my friends, that as parents, you would be encouraged by the reminder that all of our lives are in God’s hands – including the lives of our children!
