Pastoral Perspectives

A Challenging Task

My wife told me one night that there are two men who influenced her life other than God. One was her deceased father and the other is her husband, i.e. me. What sparked the conversation was a quarrel due to miscommunication and misunderstanding. Yes, we do quarrel as we are a normal couple with every human need.  However what kept me thinking was my amazement that a lot of my wife present’s habit and behaviors were actually molded by my father-in- law. And itsuddenlyhit me like a sledgehammer. Wow! Even after so many years since my father-in-law had passed away, he still wielded great influence over my wife’s life. That means that the day when our little girl grows up and goes into the world, she will take essentially everything that we have or haven’t provided her into her marriage, i.e. ability to parent, sense of wellness and acceptance in the future. However, sad to say, it hit me that we’re living in a world where many men never make this connection, including Christian dads. They were caught up with so many other things like hobbies, sports, taking on an extra job or working late hours so that they can provide better for their family financially.

Sadly, some men even missed out on the formative years of their sons and daughters’ childhood, which are their once in a life time chance to bond with their children, leaving their kids with memories of a dad who was always too pre-occupied with busyness to even build a relationship with them.

There is a misconception that fathers are not important in the life of their daughters. As a result, men have abandoned their crucial role in their daughter’s lives, thinking that the sole responsibility of raising a girl should go to the mother. However when a father considers how he models not only a healthy marital relationship to his daughter, influencing the type of man she should pick someday and the type of wife she should be, he also acts as a model for how his daughter will someday relate with her heavenly father and the implications will be overwhelming.

So men, don’t miss out on the precious relationship that you can have with your children, especially your daughters. Wishing all fathers, HAPPY FATHER (belated of course) DAY!


Preacher Alvin Lim

June 30, 2013