One of the movies that I’ve watched many times (and won’t mind watching again) is Top Gun. The movie depicts elite Navy Fighter pilots doing life together as trainees in a tough aviation course and maneuvering through many difficult situations that come their way.
Despite a tense rivalry throughout the movie, Iceman (Val Kilmer) and Maverick (Tom Cruise) finally earned each other’s respect after a successful aerial dogfight with enemy planes. Back on the aircraft carrier, surrounded by cheering pilots, Iceman acknowledges Maverick’s skill, bravery and for sticking by him during their duel with enemy planes.
He approaches Maverick, smiles and says the iconic line “You can be my wingman anytime!” And Maverick responds, “Nah! You can be mine!”
What’s a wingman? In aviation or military terms, a wingman is the pilot who supports another pilot during a flight mission. The wingman flies beside or slightly behind the lead pilot and watches the back of the lead pilot to provide cover and backup.
For those who have gone through National Service, we are all familiar with the term ‘buddy’. During battle, soldiers shout out ‘cover me’ before moving forward to the enemy position, trusting their buddy to provide cover as they advance to a forward position to overrun the threat.
The line “You can be my wingman anytime” is more than just a line from a movie. Calling someone your ‘wingman’ or ‘buddy’, or that you’re theirs – reflects a bond built on trust, loyalty, and deep friendship.
Do you have someone who has been a wingman in life? Or have you been a wingman to someone?
Over the years, I’ve been blessed by the Lord with many spiritual friendships. But perhaps one that stood out is my good friend, JL.
To be honest, our friendship started out on a wrong footing while we were both serving in a youth camp many years back. One thing led to another and due to some miscommunication, we stopped talking to each other during the camp.
However, my view of him began to change as I got to know him better during the camp. On the final night, I decided to write him a card. In it, I expressed my appreciation for all his hard work as Camp Commandant and shared how our friendship had a rough start, shaped by mutual misjudgments. I ended the card by saying how thankful I was that we had become friends.
Since then, we have been a wingman to each other – our bonds strengthened over many late-night suppers and conversations. When I was about to get married, there was only one person I wanted to ask to be my Best Man – JL.
A year later, it was my turn to help him with his wedding. And through the years, we have been through the trials of life together. He and his wife came alongside my wife and I, grieving along with us when my wife suffered a miscarriage. When he was going through a tough time in his job, I met him up regularly to have breakfast with him and to pray with him.
We would go on to serve together as fellow leaders in church. As we served together, there were moments of joy but also moments when our careless words or actions caused hurt to each other. Even though we were upset and angry, we were quick to meet up, share where we have gone wrong to hurt each other and seek forgiveness.
Till today, our families have gone for holidays together and both JL and I would still frequently meet up to exercise, have breakfast and pray together.
In Christian terms, that’s what a spiritual friendship is. It’s not just about companionship. It’s about having someone who’s walking with you toward Christ – someone who challenges you, prays with you, picks you up when you fall, and reminds you who you are when the heavy burdens of life weigh us down.
Proverbs 27:17 offers a powerful picture of spiritual friendship “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
This kind of friendship isn’t soft or sentimental—it’s intentional and refining, always pushing one another toward growth and godliness.
Sharpening implies friction, effort, sometimes even discomfort—but always for the purpose of growth.
Spiritual friends don’t just make us feel better; they make us better. They help refine our character, strengthen our faith, and point us back to God when we’ve drifted.
In Top Gun, a wingman is more than a buddy. He’s a lifeline. In aerial combat, a wingman flies slightly behind and to the side of the lead pilot, covering blind spots, offering backup, and ensuring no one fights alone. The lead pilot changes based on who’s in the best position. They need to remain within each other’s radar – always alert and mindful of one another’s position to provide cover for each other. It’s a relationship where the pilots rely on each other.
That’s a powerful image for the Christian life.
In a world that prizes individualism, spiritual friendship reminds us that our Christian race towards the finishing line is a team sport.
There are days when we lead—when we’re strong, full of clarity, ready to serve. But there would also be days when we’re disoriented or under attack, when we need someone behind us, covering us in prayer, offering a word of truth or encouragement, or simply sitting with us in the silence.
“I’ll be your wingman anytime” is, in some ways, what we say to the friends God gives us. It’s an invitation to step into each other’s stories with faithfulness and grace. It’s a commitment to be present, not just in the mountaintop moments, but in the valleys too.
The Bible shows us many powerful examples of wingman-like friendships:
David and Jonathan: Jonathan risked everything to stand by his friend David, even when it meant going against his own father, King Saul. Their friendship was marked by a covenant, sacrifice, and deep Christian love rooted in faith. (1 Samuel 18–20)
Ruth and Naomi: Though from different nations and generations, Ruth stuck close to Naomi, saying, “… Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live …” (Ruth 1:16 GNT). Ruth became Naomi’s wingwoman in a season of deep grief and transition.
Paul and Timothy: Paul mentored and encouraged Timothy, addressing him as his “true son in the faith” (1 Timothy 1:2). Later, Timothy would stand by Paul even as the apostle faced imprisonment and death.
Each of these friendships was grounded not just in shared experience but in shared spiritual purpose.
I like this quote by Timothy Keller – “Spiritual friendship is eagerly helping one another know, serve, love, and resemble God in deeper and deeper ways”. (1)
It’s a great encouragement for us to cultivate spiritual friendships that matter. How can we do that?
Consider the following:
1. Be intentional. These relationships don’t happen by accident. They take time, effort, vulnerability, and mutual commitment. Ask someone to meet regularly, pray together, or study God’s Word together.
2. Be honest. Spiritual friends don’t just talk about surface-level stuff. They dig deep. They ask, “How are you?” and wait for an honest answer. They dare to bear their souls and their hearts to each other without the fear of being judged.
3. Be loyal. Spiritual friends choose to stick around. They speak truth in love, forgive generously, and remind us of God’s mercy when we forget.
4. Be prayerful. The best spiritual friendships begin with prayer. When you don’t know what to say, intercede. When your friend is struggling, bring them before God.
Spiritual friendship is a gift! It’s a way God reveals His love to us through the friends he gives – through shared laughter, late-night suppers, whatsapp texts of encouragement, or a silent presence in hard times. These are the wingmen (and wingwomen) that God gives, who come alongside us in the ups and downs of life.
This reminds me of the oldie song – ‘He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother’ (2) which has these heart-warming lyrics:
“So on we go
His welfare is my concern
No burden is he to bear
We’ll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother”
“It’s a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we’re on the way to there
Why not share?
And the load
Doesn’t weigh me down at all
He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother”
Though it’s a secular song, the simple words remind us that we don’t walk alone in our Christian journey.
It’s a journey where we mutually journey with each other, where we share our burdens and carry each other at times. Christian love that carries others reflects the heart of Jesus.
If you have people in your life who have been wingmen or wingwomen to you, give thanks to God for them!
And the other thing you can consider doing?
Ask the Lord to lead you to a friend with whom you can say, “I’ll be your wingman anytime” – then walk alongside them in life and faith.
You might be surprised by just how powerful spiritual friendships can be! ‘Great balls of fire!’ — they can truly transform your life!
(1) The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God (2) He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother – The Hollies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSF4z_kMst0&list=RDgSF4z_kMst0&start_radio=1
