It is not surprising that if we are to observe the Lord’s Day faithfully and join other Christians in worshipping God on Sunday mornings, it would require some effort on our part. After all, there is much in life that pulls us in the opposite direction. Few would deny that there is a real temptation to clock in those extra hours for revision, catch up on our sleep or to pursue leisure activities. For parents with young children, sometimes we may even wonder whether we are trading our sanity and harmony in exchange for being able to make it for the worship service. It also does not help when there may be occasions when we feel that we are merely going through the motion as we sit unengaged in the pews.
Undoubtedly, the early Christians also had their fair share of struggles when it comes to meeting regularly as God’s people. In Hebrews 10:23-25, believers are reminded that “God who promised is faithful” and that God’s people are to “consider how to stir up one another in love and good works, not neglecting to meet together… but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”.
Given that we are called to trust in a faithful God, it means that God’s people must seek to set apart Sunday worship as a non-negotiable priority in our lives. This is to be so regardless of what we think we can accomplish whenever we give Sunday worship a miss. For example, it is telling of our lack of trust in God when there is usually a drop in attendance for our Sunday School and YZ during the examination period. Whenever we excuse ourselves or our children from church because of academic demands, we reveal that we are actually coming to God more as a pragmatic consumer of religious services rather than as a thankful child of God who has been bought by the precious blood of God’s Son (1 Cor 6:19-20, 2 Cor 5:15, 1 Pet 1:18-19).
Perhaps what is even more challenging (and potentially heart-breaking) is when our children tell us that they do not want to go to church with us. When this happens, it is of utmost importance that parents seek to understand their reasons and pray for God’s wisdom on how to handle their objection in a firm yet loving manner. Indeed, it is one thing that they are merely bored with church and quite a separate matter, if there are other underlying issues. Hopefully, parents would be in a much better position to identify the child’s feelings and address the issue after time is given for the child to process his thoughts and emotions.
Since parents are accountable to God for our children’s spiritual nurture and instruction, we need to learn how to exercise godly parental leadership. Sometimes, we relinquish our God-entrusted authority too easily simply because we are opting for an easier route. Admittedly, this is easier said than done. After all, we want to avoid a situation where we are so emotionally worn out by getting our children to come to church that we would rather come to church in peace, without a fight but without the teenager with us.
Moreover, we do not want to make matters worse because we are being pushy (“You’ll go because I say so.”) or thinking about our own reputation (“What would others think if you don’t show up?”). Neither would it be wise and helpful if we resort to cajoling or bribery (especially when they are younger), where we dangle rewards for church attendance. This would only send the wrong message that participating in a church service is merely obligatory without the need for any personal engagement.
Hopefully, as parents, we would have established healthy emotional connection with our children so that we can have heart to heart conversations with them. What many counsellors have also found helpful is when parents and other significant people of authority are honest about their own faith journey with these teenagers and sharing with them how they navigated through their struggles rather than giving simplistic answers.
If our children are having difficulty settling in with their peer group, they need our encouragement. Sometimes the family may need to prayerfully consider exploring a more conducive church setting. However, if the issue is that the teenager is questioning the Christian beliefs that he grew up with, parents will need much patience. They need to understand that this is could be part of the maturation process. For some teenagers, they will have to go through this in order for God to become real to them and for them to own their faith.
As far as possible, it is not advisable to allow the teenager to stay away from church while the rest of the family is at Sunday service. Instead, parents must seek to appeal to the teenager that the more reasonable way to work through one’s doubts and questions is to bring them into God’s presence. The teenager will also need assurance that no one is forcing him to accept uncritically everything he has heard while he is being encouraged to continue attending church service and being open to sharing his thoughts with others.
Undoubtedly, the faith journey will look different for each individual. Some may require a longer time for them to resolve their inner conflicts. Nevertheless, we can all take heart that God’s love never fails. Whether someone is the prodigal younger son or the estranged elder brother (Luke 15), God is always extending his invitation for us to enter into the Father’s presence.
