A recent Straits Times article (“Why some people are spending this Christmas season with strangers”, 30 Nov 2024) featuring different people who chose to celebrate this festive season not with friends and family but with those who have no one else caught my attention.
Firstly, I did not expect that a Christian couple in their late 20’s, David and Esther, would receive as many as 300 responses from strangers to an open invitation to their home in 2022. In the end, in order to minimise the disappointment of those who responded, the couple changed their initial plan and ended up hosting 3 gatherings (capped at 15 person per party) over the Christmas weekend and Chinese New year.
Interestingly, the 45 people who turned up for the party came from all ages and religion. There was an empty nester in her 50s, a widow in her 30s spending her first Christmas without her late husband; and a man who had been on the brink of suicide.
To the surprise of the hosts themselves, they noted that despite the differences, these strangers were able to open up to one another and conversations ran raw. Some attendees also kept in touch after that night.
What is also noteworthy is that the hosts professed that they did not held any lofty ambition. In their own words, they shared, “we’re not trying to change someone’s life. We just want to change someone’s night.”
As I read about how loneliness can feel especially acute during festive season, I could not help but think about how we as God’s people must learn to rise up to the occasion and be more intentional about showing hospitality to others. Instead of limiting hospitality to merely special occasions, it should be our lifestyle.
After all, the Bible speaks much about hospitality. In the list of the basics of Christian discipleship, both Apostle Paul and Apostle Peter includes hospitality as one of them (Romans 12:13, 1 Peter 4:9). In addition, an elder or pastor is to be characterised by it (1 Timothy 3:2), presumably so that he can set an example to the rest of the congregation. Regardless of our personality type, showing hospitality is the responsibility of every believer and is not merely expected of those who identify themselves as extroverts.
What may surprise us is that being hospitable is also listed as a criteria for an older widow if one is to warrant financial support from the church (1 Timothy 5:10). The fact that this older widow may require some monetary assistance would suggest that she is not from a family of means. This would also mean that being hospitable is indicative of one’s disposition towards others and is not dependent on one’s socio-economic status nor ability to offer gourmet meals.
More than just a cultural and social norm, Christian hospitality is an expression of godly conduct and sacrificial love. Along with the other virtues that Paul mentioned, we get a sense that showing hospitality was what Paul encouraged the younger married women to aspire to.
It is rather unfortunate that in our context today, Christian hospitality is sometimes associated with rich tai-tais entertaining guests as portrayed in movies like Crazy Rich Asians. In such social circles, hospitality has become more about extending one’s network as guests exchange pleasantries over tea and macarons. Sometimes, hospitality can also be reduced to being a means of virtue signalling, except that the virtue here is about how good a cook we are, how lavish a party we can throw or who are the people we know.
When we look at Scriptures, it is evident that Christian hospitality is about honouring God by obeying his command to meet the practical needs of others, beginning with those in the household of faith (Romans 12:13, Hebrews 13:2). Put simply, showing hospitality is about loving others rather than about ourselves.
One should also note that the Greek word for hospitality, philoxenia, literally means “the love of strangers.” During the time of the New Testament, loving a stranger would involve readily providing food, welcome and shelter to a fellow Christian who is in need even though the latter is not a family member, friend or someone from one’s social circle. Given that travel was difficult and staying in inns was potentially dangerous, those who came from a different city would find relief and peace of mind if they could stay with another believer.
Having opened my home for DG meetings ever since I was married 17 years ago, I’ll be the first to acknowledge that showing hospitality is never easy. Apart from tidying up before and after the guests leave, one must be prepared for the occasional damage of household items or children’s toys.
But just as I have been so blessed by the hospitality shown towards me growing up as a Christian, it is my prayer that my family can also grow in this area and be a blessing to others. Furthermore, we should learn that people are more important than things.
As Christians, showing hospitality is more than just offering our homes since not all of us are home-owners. Rather, God is calling every believer to have an open heart and ear, to have an open schedule and an open wallet for the good of another. In our context today, the stranger could be someone from a different nationality, generation or social status but we are to welcome them nonetheless.
Admittedly, it’s much easier to busy ourselves with programs than to set aside time and make room for people in our lives. But in this season as we worship Jesus who so graciously extends hospitality even to the likes of us who were once his enemies (Romans 5:8), let us be more intentional in recovering the practice of hospitality.
If God can make room in the new heavens and earth for redeemed sinners to be with him for all of eternity, surely we need not wait until Christmas before making room for others.
